How to communicate without invalidating Liveadultchating
Dont use active listening to hide and avoid revealing your own position.
If you are confused and know you do not understand, either tell the person you dont understand and ask him/her to say it another way, or use your best guess.
Parroting back the words verbatim is annoying and does not ensure accurate understanding of the message.
Reflecting back what we hear each other say helps give each a chance to become aware of the different levels that are going on below the surface.
You don’t want to miss these crucial pieces of information because they can help you to take care of yourself and make decisions to keep yourself safe. They are a reflection of your thoughts, experiences, and perceptions, which is why two people can have the same experience, but feel differently.
It’s also important to note that validation – saying that someone’s feelings are acceptable or worthwhile – isn’t the same as agreeing with their feelings.
Listening effectively is difficult because people vary in their communication skills and in how clearly they express themselves, and often have different needs, wants and purposes for interacting.
The different types of interaction or levels of communication also adds to the difficulty. As a listener we attend to the level that we think is most important.