No dating men

Picture a single, cash-strapped brother in your mind.

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Later the same week, when the brother of a man I’d slept with months before invited me to a games night attended mainly by people who were strangers to me, I went. People of all genders are guilty of bad behaviour, but women are taught from childhood that they need to monitor and be responsible for other people’s feelings. They don’t care if we get off, and they don’t care if our feelings get hurt.

But he turns them away because he has yet to achieve his requisite level of success—the same success he’s partially motivated to achieve because it would make him feel personally secure enough in his own value as a man to pursue a serious relationship.

The mental roadblock that many men face on their own road to success is navigating their way around being defined as less of a man due to their inability to provide more or equal to the woman they want to date.

So he detaches himself from the prior goal of finding a compatible partner, to simply entertaining casual encounters until he’s “where he wants to be.” He realizes that broke men hold no value, and in this society “value” isn’t just a synonym for worth, but rather a wholesale evaluation of his masculinity.

And in a world where so many of us struggle to define and accept what our masculinity truly means to us, he blindly ties his masculinity to a dollar figure, material possessions, and/or a job title. This same man who refrained from building serious relationships with women when he was broke, now finds himself in casual “situationships” with women who are interested in building a serious relationship with him now—but not solely due to the fact—that he’s more successful.

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