Online dating strategies

Vulnerability is the essence of opening yourself up without fearing rejection. Ask your best friend or someone you trust to proofread your profile to check that what you have written is a fair and honest representation of your personality and you aren’t coming across like a crazy person. Okay, you’ve sorted out your profile and taken some decent pictures, now you’re ready to send your very first message. First, don’t just send messages out blindly: you have to tailor the message to your goals and the person you are writing to.

You don’t want to give a beautiful woman a physical compliment because it won’t have a huge effect on her.

The slower method is about building trust and rapport.

The best way to do this is to suggest moving away from the dating site to a more personal method of communication.

You have to assume that a quick glance at the thumbnails is all she is going to use to decide whether to open the message, so if your main image isn’t the single best photo you own then you are doing yourself a disservice.

Guys, read that last sentence too—it applies both ways.

Fixed or not, it’s frustrating, and unless you’re a crack Marine Corps sniper, you will often go home empty handed. As a “veteran” of over 60 internet dates and nearly 10 years of negotiating my way through the many, many websites out there, I know firsthand how arduous and frustrating it can be.

I’ve made countless errors, put up stupid pictures, sent even stupider messages and had “sure things” vanish into thin air.

Have you ever deleted an opening message based solely on the thumbnail image?

I think everyone has at some point, and imagine how often you would do this if you received 20-50 a day instead of 1 or 2 a week. Most attractive women don’t even open all of their messages simply because they can’t be bothered to sift through them all.

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